Talking to your children about your cancer
How do I talk to my children about my cancer diagnosis?
Cancer can have such a profound impact on your life and your family and the prospect of telling your children you have cancer can feel very frightening.
The Cancer Council NSW has developed has some important information about talking with your kids about cancer. Topics on their website about talking to your kids include:
- Helping your children cope
- Children’s reactions and needs
- The first conversation
- Explaining cancer words
- Answering questions
Cancer Council NSW has also produced a book called When a parent has cancer: how to talk to children (pdf, 755kb). This book aims to help you to firstly tell your kids about the cancer, and then to keep talking throughout your cancer journey. For a free printed copy of ‘When a parent has cancer ‘please call the Cancer Council WA Helpline on 13 11 20.
Additional books for parents with a cancer diagnosis
- Cancer in the family. Helping children cope with a parent's illness by Sue P Heiney, Joan Hermann, Katherine V Bruss (Editor); Publisher: American Cancer Society, 2001
- When a parent has cancer: a guide to caring for your children by Wendy Schlessel Harpham; Publisher: Perennial Currents, 2004
- Raising an emotionally healthy child when a parent is sick By Paula Rauch and Anna Muriel. Part of the Harvard Medical School Health Book Series. Publisher: McGraw-Hill, 2005.
Copies of these books are held in the Cancer Council WA patient library – for information on how to access a copy call the Helpline 13 11 20.
Additional website information for parents with a cancer diagnosis
Australian
- My Parents Cancer - This website, produced by the National Breast Cancer Centre, is aimed at young people aged 13-19 whose mother has breast cancer. It will also help young people whose parents have a different cancer. Designed with young people in mind, it features personal stories and reliable, practical and sensitive help.
International organisations and websites
- The American Cancer Society publishes information to help parents and children cope with cancer.
- Macmillian Cancer Support. A UK service that offers practical advice and support for cancer patients, their families and carers in talking to their children
For further information or support please contact the Cancer Council WA Helpline on 13 11 20.
Can counselling help my children to cope with my cancer?
Counselling can help a family to speak more openly and understand the concerns of the various members when a parent has cancer. It is important that the counsellor has experience in counselling children and families.
The Cancer Council WA can link you to a counsellor with experience in counselling young children affected by cancer, as well as counsellors who have experience in family counselling following a cancer diagnosis.
To speak to someone about your family’s needs and to arrange an appropriate referral call the Cancer Council Helpline 13 11 20.
Are there books suitable for children whose parents have cancer?
Books for young children:
- Safina and the hat tree (Picture book) by Cynthia Hartman. Publisher: Nomota Pty Ltd, 2004.
- Sammy's mommy has cancer (Picture book) by Sherry Kohlenberg. Publisher: Magination Press, 1993
Books for older readers
- She's got what? A story about cancer by Carrie Lethborg and Angela Kirsner. Publisher: St Vincent's Hospital Melbourne, 1999.
- What about me? For children when a parent has cancer (Comic book). Publisher: Anti-Cancer Foundation of South Australia, 1999.
- Because … someone I love has cancer (Kids' activity book). Publisher: American Cancer Society, 2003.
You may like to call the Cancer Council Helpline to find out if there is a copy of any of the books listed in the patient library.
Who else can help?
- Canteen - supporting, developing and empowering young people living with cancer. This is done by providing an Australia wide peer support network for 12-24 year olds including -
- siblings and offspring - young people who have an immediate family member (brother, sister, parent or primary carer) who has been diagnosed with cancer
- bereaved siblings and offspring - young people who had an immediate family member who has died from cancer
- Kids Konnected provides friendship, understanding, education and support for the children who have a parent with cancer, or have lost a parent to cancer
- KIDSCOPE assists children and families to understand the effects of cancer or chemotherapy on a loved one, provides suggestions for coping, and develops innovative programs and materials that communicate a message of hope to diverse families coping with this crisis.
